The Neuroscience of Love: How Our Brains Create Connection
- natejrae92
- Feb 14
- 3 min read
Happy Valentine's Day! On the most romantic day of the year, love is on everyone's mind. Love is one of the most powerful emotions we experience, shaping our relationships, decisions, and even our health. But what happens in our brains when we feel love?
The many faces of love in the brain
Love isn’t just one thing – it’s a whole spectrum of emotions and experiences. While romantic love might be the first type that comes to mind, love also means the connection between parents and children, siblings, friends, pets – and, of course, ourselves.
Romantic love
When we fall in love, our brains experience a surge of dopamine, the neurotransmitter chemical associated with pleasure and reward. This is why new love can give us a sense of euphoria, making us utterly besotted. The brain’s reward system becomes highly active, making us crave our partner’s presence – almost like an addiction. [1]
Oxytocin, sometimes called the “love hormone,” plays an important role in deepening romantic attachments. It’s released during physical touch, like hugging or holding hands, giving us a sense of closeness and trust. Meanwhile, serotonin levels tend to drop in early stages of love. This drop in serotonin is actually very similar to obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) – which may explain why people in love can't stop thinking about their partners! [2]
Parental love
The love between parents and children is one of the strongest and most enduring forms of love. Neuroscientists have found that parental love activates many of the same parts of the brain as romantic love, especially the parts involved in bonding and reward. However, parental love also engages areas of the brain related to vigilance and protection, such as the amygdala and the medial prefrontal cortex. [3]
Oxytocin plays a big role once again, especially during childbirth and breastfeeding, helping to create a deep bond between parent and child. This hormone creates feelings of trust, safety, and affection, which are important for a child’s development. Parents who don't give birth experience a rise in oxytocin levels, too, when they engage in nurturing activities like caring for, cuddling, or playing with their child. [4]
Platonic love and friendship
Friendship is another important form of love, which improves our health and wellbeing. Strong friendships activate the brain’s social bonding networks, including the prefrontal cortex and the anterior cingulate cortex. These regions help us process social cues, empathy, and emotional connection.
Endorphins, the brain’s natural painkillers, are often released when we interact with close friends, explaining why laughter and companionship can be so uplifting. Dopamine also plays a role, making time spent with friends feel rewarding and reinforcing long-term bonds.
Self-Love
When we think of love, we usually think about it being directed towards other people – but loving yourself is just as important! Practicing self-compassion and self-care engages the brain’s reward and emotional regulation systems, including the insula and the prefrontal cortex. These areas help us process emotions, build resilience, and develop a positive self-image.
Neurotransmitters like serotonin and oxytocin are released when we engage in self-care activities, such as meditation, exercise, or simply treating ourselves with kindness. A healthy amount of self-love contributes to lower stress levels, improved mental health, and stronger relationships with others.
Why do we need love?
By understanding the science behind love, we can appreciate it not just as a feeling but as a fundamental part of what makes us human. Learning how love works in the brain can help us nurture and strengthen our relationships, leading to a happier, healthier life for ourselves and those we care about.
Want to find out more about mental wellbeing, love, relationships, and the role your amazing brain plays in all of these things? Why not invite one of our expert presenters to perform a live show or present a hands-on workshop at your school or event?
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